Example Reading: Should I Dump Him?
The vast majority of readings are about the same broad topics: relationships, career, health, etc. And for the most part, spirit guide teams give roughly the same advice to everyone, customized a little, with differences in tone and texture, but generally similar. This reading focused on one aspect of the relationship in particular, with a very direct tone.
This reading request was originally published on a public forum with no expectation of privacy. However, identifying information has still been removed here.
The anonymous user wrote the following, and also provided a current photo of herself:
Hello to who is reading this, I hope you are having a good morning, afternoon, evening, night. I have been struggling in my current relationship. I feel like my intuition is telling me to leave, however, there is my annoying, optimistic side that wants to believe my boyfriend when he said he is going to change. I feel like, spiritually, my energy is being drained, and I honestly don't know what to do, and if it is my boyfriend causing this inside of me, or my own insecurities. Someone, please help me... Also, random, but I do/did Reiki as well, but I do feel extremely stuck with that as well, and have for months. If that could get thrown in there, too, that'd be great, if not, that's okay. Thank you.
In response, I wrote:
Hi [user name], here's your reading...
What I'm getting about your relationship is that the dominant emotion present for each of you and between you is anger. Typically, anger comes from trying to control things that are actually out of your control, such as getting your expectations met by people, or situations that you have no control over. The time when the emotion of anger is of best use to us is when it signals a violation of our personal boundaries. In that case, anger serves to encourage us to effectively set and defend appropriate personal boundaries.
Now, let's take a look at how this applies to your relationship at the current time. The first thing I looked at was your boyfriend. While I don't typically read unrelated third parties, in doing a reading on the relationship itself like we're doing here, there is certain information present that helps us to understand the relationship dynamic. In this case, what I see is that he is someone who expects to receive much more from the world than he is willing to contribute. He wants everything he wants, but doesn't want to have to pay the rate of energy exchange required for those things to come toward him. He is angry that the world isn't operating the way he thinks it should.
Due to this mindset, he is not available to have a real relationship with you. He is available to take whatever you're willing to give him, but he is not able to respond to your gestures appropriately. Based on what I'm seeing now, it may take a full 10 years or more for him to learn that his expectations of the world are inappropriate, and to form a healthier set of expectations and way of interacting with the world and the people in it.
On your part, you are angry that the expectations you have of him aren't being met, and you aren't using that anger to set and defend healthy personal boundaries. You believe that treating him well entitles you to be treated well in return, and are still in disbelief that he is not meeting this expectation. Believe it. And believe that he's doing the best he can at the moment, and what he's giving you right now is ALL THERE IS and all there is likely to ever be. The way he's treating you is not good enough for you, plain and simple. There's no reason to hesitate any longer. No more chances to change are needed. Your appropriate response is to thank him for the time he spent with you, and to walk, quickly, in the opposite direction.
The next step would be to take some time to sit with yourself and think about your assumptions regarding what you're worth and what potential relationship partners are capable of. About your personal boundaries and why you've been so hesitant to set boundaries that are emotionally healthy for you. About why and how to set the bar higher next time. You want better treatment than you've been getting, and there's no real reason not to insist upon it.
Regarding your reiki, that's another area where personal boundaries are critically important. You should not be merging your energy with someone else in a healing capacity until you are strong and confident in your own energetic boundaries. That place that you need to get to isn't far off, but it will take a bit of time and effort on your part. You will want to spend some time on self-worth and boundaries before taking up your reiki practice again.
I apologize if the tone of this reading is a bit harsh; contrary to popular belief, guides can indeed become frustrated and give a somewhat stern response when they believe their human is caught up in an emotional space that they believe is beneath their human's capabilities, that's keeping their human from becoming who they are meant to be. And that's what I sense is happening here. They very much want to see you in a place of strength, with all of the happiness and fulfillment that comes with that.
Please let me know if you have any questions.
Thank you for that, all of that. We actually ended up breaking up I believe the day after I posted that. Everything you said makes perfect sense. It's alright that it sounded harsh, I think I've known for a while that my guides have been...frustrated with me. I just am unsure of how to meditate and come into contact with them. It's hard for me to believe in myself, and I guess to an extent, them, and quiet my mind enough to hear them/see their signs.
My Follow-Up Response
Thanks! There are lots of ways to learn to meditate; I imagine that many are available here on [the forum site], and there are lots of free resources out on Google as well. One of my favorite "training wheels" of sorts for meditation is binaural beats. Search YouTube for "binaural beats alpha" or "binaural beats theta", or even better if you can get alpha and then theta in one video or playlist. You must listen with headphones, and just relax. It'll train your brain to understand what the meditative state feels like so that you can get there more easily on your own without it. Alternatively, I do offer training sessions. I have a pretty simple hypnosis process that I teach you use to get you into a trance state deep enough to receive psychic information. It takes the mystery right out of what I do, but I'm okay with that. :-)